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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Thumbs Off - The Clean
and who’s gonna pay your bills today
and who’s gonna turn the girls away
and who’s gonna make you feel ok
and who’s gonna take your pills today
and you know it can’t be me
yeah you know it can’t be me
sometimes I just feel too much
and i don’t want to feel at all -
i just listened to a depression recovery mix my parents made me.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Not Even Jail - Interpol
I’ll lay down my glasses,
I’ll lay down in houses,
if things come alive.
I’ll subtract pain by ounces,
Yeah, I will start painting houses,
if things come alive
I promise to commit no acts of violence,
Be it physical or otherwise,
If things come alive
I’ll say it now
I’ll say it now
I’ll say it now
Oh, I’ll say it now
Cuz I want it now
When personality is scarred tissue,
We travel South with disuse
I’m subtle like a lion’s cage
Such a cautious display
Remember take hold of your time here
Give some meanings to the means
To your end.
Not even jail.
We marshal in the days of longing,
We tremble like anyone’s children,
And wink towards the fire.
I’m erring on the side of caution,
Betraying no other symptom,
But girl, you shake it right.
I will bounce you on the lap of silence,
We will free up to the beats of science,
And girl, you shake it right
I’ll say it now
Oh, but hold it still, darling, your hair so pretty
Can’t you feel the warmth of my sincerity?
You make motion when you cry
You’re making people’s lives feel less private.
Don’t take time away
You make motion when you cry
we all hold hands,
can’t we all hold hands,
When we make new plans?
I pretend like no one else
To try and control myself.
I’m subtle like a lion’s cage.
Such a cautious display.
Remember take hold of your time here,
Give some meanings to the means
To your end
Not even jail -
jay reatard
not even jail- interpol
i’m still in eating disorder inpatient. the first week my anxiety was through the roof and unbearable. i eventually just broke down and cried cuz i couldn’t take it. that was alternating with being so tired i could barely stay awake when i sat down, just utter exhaustion. there was no in between, just wild swings. it was way too much.
then i got some sleeping meds, but i’m so dehydrated my body feels shaky, dizzy, uncoordinated, exhausted etc.
today i challenged myself with nutella which is basically my number one fear food. it made me so anxious i wanted to purge or cut afterwards. i talked to someone and they made me use dbt skills so i listened to jay reatard and colored violently.
i wish i could write now but my focus and concentration are shit. and i feel so so numb that i don’t think or feel at all.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
The Smiths | Well I Wonder
Well I wonder
Do you hear me when you sleep ?
I hoarsely cry
Well I wonder
Do you see me when we pass ?
I half die …
Please keep me in mind
Please keep me in mind
Gasping - but somehow still alive
This is the fierce last stand of all I am
Gasping - dying - but somehow still alive
This is the final stand of all I am
Please keep me in mind
Well I wonder
Well I wonder
Please keep me in mind
Keep me in mind
Keep me in mind -
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Tomorrow by Morrissey
Tomorrow
Will it really come ?
And if it does come
Will I still be Human ?
All I ask of you is one thing that you never do
Would you put your arms around me ?
(I won’t tell anyone)
Tomorrow
Does it have to come ?
All I ask of you is one thing that you’ll never do
Would you put your arms around me ?
(I won’t tell anybody)
Tomorrow
And what must come before …
Oh, the pain in my arms
Oh, the pain in my legs
Ooh, my shiftless body
Tomorrow
It’s surely nearer now ?
You don’t think I’ll make it
I never said I wanted to !
Well did I ?
Oh, the pain in my arms
Oh, the pain in my legs
Oh, yeah; oh, yeah
No, yeah; no, yeah
Through my shiftless body
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
All I ask of you … oh …
Is : would you tell me that you love me
Tell me, tell me that you love me
Tell me, tell me that you love me
Tell me that you love me !
Ah, I know you don’t mean it
Ah, I know you don’t mean it
Tell me, tell me that you love me
Tell me, tell me that you love me
Tell me, oh, tell me, oh
Tell me, oh, tell me, oh, tell me, oh -
Jeane- Sandie Shaw & The Smiths version
Jeane
The low-life has lost its appeal
And I’m tired of walking these streets
To a room with a cupboard bare
Jeane
I’m not sure what happiness means
But I look in your eyes
And I know
That it isn’t there
We tried, we failed
We tried, and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried
Jeane
There’s ice on the sink where we bathe
So how can you call this a home
When you know it’s a grave?
But you still hold a greedy grace
As you tidy the place
But it’ll never be clean
Jeane
We tried, we failed
We tried, and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried
Cash on the nail
It’s just a fairytale
And I don’t believe in magic anymore
Jeane
But I think you know
I really think you know
I think you know the truth
Jeane
No heavenly choir
Not for me and not for you
Because I think that you know
I really think you know
I think you know the truth
Oh Jeane
Oh we tried, and we failed
Oh we tried, and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried -
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Today by The Smashing Pumpkins
this feels so bleak to me.
Today is the greatest
Day I’ve ever known
Can’t live for tomorrow,
Tomorrow’s much too long
I’ll burn my eyes out
Before I get out
I wanted more
Than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore
Of saving face
Today is the greatest
Day I’ve never known
Can’t wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I’ll tear my heart out
Before I get out
Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings
Today is
Today is
Today is
The greatest day
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you
Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever really known -
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
i fucking love fiona.
On The Bound by Fiona Apple
All my life is on me now
Hail the pages turning
And the future’s on the bound
Hell don’t know my fury
You’re all I need, you’re all I need, you’re all I need
You’re all I need, you’re all I need, you’re all I need
You’re all I need
And maybe some faith would do me goodI don’t know what I’m doing, don’t know should I change my mind
I can’t decide, there’s too many variations to consider
No thing I do don’t do no thing but bring me more to do
It’s true, I do imbue my blue unto myself, I make it bitter
Baby, lay your head on my lap one more time
Tell me you belong to me
Baby say that it’s all going to be alright
I believe that it isn’t
You’re all I need, you’re all I need, you’re all I need
You’re all I need, you’re all I need, you’re all I need
You’re all I need
And maybe some faith would do me good
And maybe some faith would do me good
And maybe some faith would do me good -
(Source: expressionlessgames, via stillfondofyou)
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And all I want is to save you, honey
Or the strength to walk away"Carrion by Fiona Apple -
(Source: funnyhownobodyislaughing, via deaflogorrhea)
